Hundreds of people stare at me
every single day. I see admiration in their eyes, curiosity. The first thing
men notice is the flower at my cleavage. Or rather the cleavage itself. The
flower was placed there to provide their eyes with a convenient and elegant
excuse. Flowers are so innocent,
so poetic. One could even say romantic. Women look at my face, then glance at
the necklace. I can hear some of them saying: ‘I wish I had a necklace like
this’.
Yes, jewellery has always been
known to attract women’s attention. They wonder why my eyes are so sad. Why
would they not be? Look at the people in the restaurant. They are having so
much fun, living their life to the fullest. They barely notice me.
I am the ‘girl behind the bar’. ‘A glass of red wine? Of
course, straight away.’ ‘Sorry, sir, I don’t know why it took me so long.’
‘What can I get for you, madam?’
Folie- Bergeres…it is a ‘folie’ indeed. ‘Why are my eyes so
sad?’- you ask. Wouldn’t yours be
if you saw such decadence, degradation unfolding in front of you? I wish I
could just turn my head and state with contempt that this crowd is ridiculing
itself. But wouldn’t your eyes be
sad if you could not participate in this frenzy, which although almost
inhumane, brings about ecstatic pleasure of being utterly free? Free from all
the rules, free from the roles we are normally given to play in the society?
They stare at me, admiring the
painting. Wondering. Trying to come up with some witty remarks to impress their
loved ones. ‘Look at the colours he used’, ‘Manet was a genius: It’s amazing
how a century -and –half old painting can convey to a modern audience, isn’t it
honey?’
Wonder why there is no smile in my eyes?
Would there be in yours if you had to listen to this every day?
‘ Look at the dangling feet!’-
This particular couple caught my attention. They look so happy. There is something
interesting about them. I can almost feel that they are transcending all the
convenances, like the crowd in the restaurant, yet so unlike it. There is
definitely folie in what they have. But this folie makes me almost want to
smile.’ C’est de la folie pure!’ -them being together. Perhaps. But maybe this
kind of folie makes one actually live one’s life. Wonder why my eyes are so
sad? I would give anything to be able to experience what they have.
